LLN Adaptation 

Cover Letter

Like everything is difficult before it is easy, I got so overwhelmed by college since the education system is different from when I was in Asia. Back in Asia, though every lecture was taught in English, it was not a big deal to communicate with my classmates and professors. But here I was sort of intimidated. I felt left out. It’s been over a year since I became bilingual, but I wasn’t trained in school. I just spoke to my customers as a server, so I felt distanced from my classmates. However, I learned that what you see as a flaw is necessary to become better. And I was just fulfilling all my obligations for school without really getting them since I had been working 6 days a week. After deciding to work only weekends, I got comfortable integrating myself into the classroom. It felt so good when you found out you are more than what you underestimated yourself. It is all because of Mother Tongue, by Amy Ton that illustrates there is nothing wrong with not speaking standard English and all the presentations of my classmates, especially by bilinguals like me, become my therapy sessions related to my language journey that encourage me to speak up more. And I also loved to hear their experiences when it comes to speaking English as their second language, each of them demonstrated all the struggles they got to get through and I believe this poem reflects on my journey of learning English, including them. As far as I am concerned, it was really difficult to use my second language in day to day activities instead of my mother tongue. Speaking a new language in a new environment is not just speaking the language, it is also changing a part of my identity to be the way of speaking it right. I felt limited every I speak English since it does not share the same rules with my mother tongue. I always worried that I might express something inappropriately. According to research, the best time to learn a new language is 10 years from birth, so imagine learning a new language in your 20s, and it is not because of your passion, but for your survival.  I believe this poem will reflect the audience who are also standing between two languages as I do, who always struggle because they are translating in their own language every time they intend to speak, who always find it awkward to comply with all the social and cultural norms, who always find it difficult to pronounce a particular word because that sound does not exist in their own language, who feel as if they are losing their identities, who is feeling exhausted to know all the idioms, phrases, and slangs, who are afraid to speak because of their accents and last but not least who will find a turning point to stand their ground and speak their second language confidently.

IN BETWEEN 

I stand between two languages, 

One flows like a melody, 

The other- 

A long way I must run, little by little. 

 

A deep end I must stand, 

Though mine goes straight, 

It sounds different, 

When there is only me or I, 

Or when I see the letter R. 

 

In a classroom filled with norms, 

I chased the letters, 

Repeat sounds, 

Reflecting meanings that never felt like mine, 

Words lied in books, 

But never in my nerve. 

 

Endless doors, 

Endless rules, 

Am I being tested, 

Or am I being abused? 

When different vowels hit different sounds. 

 

Sentences raised- 

Broken and Uncertain, 

Like a road that was leading to nowhere, 

And I wondered, 

How can something still feel so far away, 

That stayed with me for so long? 

 

Then one day, 

In a city full of strangers, 

I stood my ground and spoke, 

In a language I merely owned, 

Not flawless, 

But brave. 

That was small, 

To the world, 

But it was earthshattering  

To me. 

 

Since then,  

I have followed words like they are music, 

Reading, listening, trying, collapsing, 

Time and again. 

 

A place between dedication and determination, 

Patterns began to be shown, 

Like shaping clouds, 

In a sky I once thought was empty. 

 

Still, 

It does not feel like mine, 

It lives in hesitant, 

In pauses, 

In quiet organizations behind every sentence. 

 

But I believe in a day, 

I will make it to the words, 

Steadily and surely, 

When I will no longer annotate my thoughts- 

But simply use them. 

 

And on that day, 

A bilingual is reflected in the mirror. 

 

And I will say- 

I see me.